I made an awful decision last night. I went out for some fun in Bangkok with my friends. We started out with some sangsom (rum) and then went to whiskey and finished the night with tequilla. There was a group of four Thai girls across the room in another booth. After enough liquid confidence we invited them over to our table to share a bottle of Johnnie Walker blue label. We were having a great time, laughing and teaching each other to say little bits of English/Thai. These girls were absolutely gorgeous. The girl that was matched up with me I found out was in PR. I took it upon myself to starting talking about this event I have been planning for the school on April 29. She was more than willing to help me and I will be giving her a call next week. It has now become bar time and none of us want to go home. My PR girl proposes that we find another bar with a much later bar time (I knew these bars existed, I just didn’t know where they were). Well, the guys and I, we are not fools, and we know what this means. Eagerly we all pile into a taxi and head off to the next bar. Here is where things get hazy. I remember taking a shot of tequila and telling the PR girl that she is beautiful in Thai (this is one of the few phrases I’ve learned, I felt that this was more essential than “I need to call my Embassy” or “I didn’t do it”. Actually, maybe I should know these). The next thing I know I’m waking up in someone else’s bed pulling a red sucker out of my hair (hurt like hell). Now I’m thinking what the hell did I do last night?!?!? Still groggy, I see there is someone else in the bed. I silently freak out and get out from the sheets and try to find my clothes. Then I see these huuuuge pair of female shoes (I’m talking men size 11-12). Now I’m thinking, what the hell did I go home with? I’m gently walking to find all my stuff when the girl in the bed awakes and gets up. Turns out she was still naked, and when she turned around, to my absolute horror, the she was in fact a HE!!!!! A great big giant he!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (breath) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I bolted out of the door faster than a speeding bullet. I only had my left shoe on but I easily was faster than any Olympian for those seven blocks. Tears are running down my face, I can’t remember what happened but I don’t want to know anymore. I hate drinking. Damn you beer goggles!!!!!
Before you go telling everyone from high school, college, to your local newspaper about Jesse and the ladyboy, please read line 10 word 13, line 15, word 10, and line 22, word 4.
