Cop: “Do you have any dangerous weapons?”
Cop: “Get out of the car, with your hands where I can see them!”
Cop: “Interlock your hands sir and spread your legs!”
Me: “Is this necessary?”
Cop: “I’m checking for weapons; sit on the curb, cross your legs.”
All I wanted was to test drive a car and this is what I experienced. As I have documented, I have moved to Los Angeles, which requires me to purchase a car in order to get anywhere. Well I’ve been searching high and low for a car. I found this little Saturn, but it was a manual, and I don’t know how to drive one (don’t judge). However, I’ve been told it’s easy to learn, so I figured I’d buy a manual and learn how to drive it and save myself a few pennies. In order to do this, I had to have my cousin come with me to test drive the car. We were running late and she couldn’t find her wallet. “Do you think I’ll need it?” “Nah” I replied.
Shortly after arriving at the private residence we (me, my cousin, and the owner’s boyfriend) hopped in the car to a quick test drive. In and out quiet residential streets we went until we took that fateful right turn onto busy Willow St. Almost instantly an unmarked police car put their alarm on ordering us to pull over. Oh crap, we all knew why we were pulled over. The tags on the car had expired a year ago, so this was just going to be routine…except it was LONG BEACH routine.
*Side Note: Long Beach is where Snoop Dogg is from and can turn from a pleasant neighborhood to a darn shady one pretty darn quick. Don’t worry, I live in the gay district and gangs usually steer clear of it.
“Put your ha
nds in the air where I can see them” yelled Officer King as he clutched his hand gun. “Do you have any identification?” What do you think the odds would be that none of the three people in the car had their license on them? My cousin didn’t have her wallet, I had taken out my license to go to the gym, and the seller was doing yard work when we came by. The three of us were taken out of the vehicle, only the seller and I were forced to interlock our hands on our heads with our legs spread as the cops searched us. “Interlock your hands!”
Apparently the cops were worried about my cousin’s “safety.” I guess you can’t drive down Long Beach in a car with expired tags, with no driver’s license, and three people who look nothing alike. I guess they thought we had kidnapped my cousin and forced her to drive this crappy car, because logically that’s the only good reason for someone to drive this piece of junk.
The cops ended up being pretty cool, once they believed the situation. They were like “Welcome to California” when my storied was told. I thought the whole experience was humorous and reminiscent of the time in high school my buddies and I were pulled over and put on the curb (sans the clutched gun and forceful frisking). Needless to say, I’m looking for another car, an automatic and my cousin always has her driver’s license with her.
This is a comment from the Dad.
Lucky thing, Jess, you didn’t stay in Waukesha, where the cops have different style:
http://waterbloggedinwaukesha.blogspot.com/
Water Blogged in Waukesha
Honey they didn’t hurt your privates did they. Maybe they’re not so private but you know what I mean. I want grandchildren before I die! Skip marriage if that’s a hindrance
for your faithful readers, that last entry was from me, your mom. I’d hate them to think that dad was kinky, even if he and I are your only readers
no words are coming out of my mouth right now :0
Those two comments alone will keep me reading. Keep on blogging Jesse and keep on commenting Sandra.
Signed, Faithful Reader #1
Jesse, one more thing, which of those two guys is you and why are you wearing identical shirts? I thought you said you lived in the gay district. Is there something you want to tell me?