I thought I should follow up my last two posts, which were kind of serious, with something a little more light hearted. The other day I was going through my phone looking for someone’s number and I read all the nicknames I give girls in my phone. This practice has gone back since the days of college. Perhaps I’m too old for this and you find this practice to be utterly juvenile. But the names still make me chuckle. So here are some of the top unnamed women in my phone.
Out of Work Actress – I remember I went out with this girl about a year ago. She, like many in Los Angeles, claimed she was an actress. Only problem was she had literally never acted in anything. Not even extra work.
Disaster Date – I took this girl on probably one of the worst dates either of us have ever been on. I picked her up late, we missed our show, I spilled beer in her purse. Why I felt the need to change her name in my phone instead of deleting it? I have no idea.
Crazy Girl – This could be anyone. In fact, I’m sure I’ve rotated this name to various phone numbers throughout my life. I think it’s whoever is the craziest girl in my life at that time. But I don’t know who this is. But I can bet you she’s crazy.
Fuck Her – In this scenario, “fuck her” is a term of discontent, not a sexual goal.
Leggy Laura – This chick was like 6 ft tall with really toned legs.
Sunglasses Girl – She worked at a Sunglasses Hut. She might be the last girl I’ved asked out in retail while she was working.
Do Not Text – I want to text this girl, but logically it would be a bad idea. So I make it clear to myself not to text her.
No Text – Not to be confused with “Do Not Text”. But I’ve forgotten who this one is.
Happy Asian Chick Green Room – The first half is self-explanatory. I have no idea what what “green room” means.
Agape Chick – Do you know what agape is? Even though she wouldn’t stop talking about it, I still have no idea what it is.
Meredith Wood – I’m assuming this is her real name. But I still have no idea who she is. If you’re reading this Meredith, I’m sorry.
Do I have your phone number? Ever wonder what you’re programmed in as?
